


White Lily of Parting Regrets

by kikurie



Series: Tomorrow and Tomorrow [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Au Ra Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Established Relationship, F/M, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers Spoilers, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insecurity, Might make it a collection of one-shots, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Self-Loathing, Self-Sacrifice, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 18:03:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19446739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikurie/pseuds/kikurie
Summary: The Crystal Exarch admires being face to face with the Warrior of Light, while denying his own desire to reach out to her.[SPOILERS!] If you haven't finished the MSQ for Shadowbringers don't read this yet. It is insanely spoiler heavy. Read at your own risk.





	White Lily of Parting Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> It's like 4 am, this is really poorly made, but it's been on my mind for awhile since I finished. I'll most likely go back and add more later. The white lilies represent purity and MY WoL's name is Shirayuri. However, I was unsure to add her name or not so I left it relatively open. It's rushed, but I appreciate people's thoughts. Cheers! Literally protect this man.

How many years has he waited for this moment?

For the one who stood against the storm. The one who possessed Her blessing. The hero who would soon sweep in to save the First from Primordial Light’s destruction. She who inspired many to unwrite time itself if it meant she could stop the 8th Umbral Calamity. The Source’s only hope to survive.

His friend, his inspiration…his love.

The Warrior of Light.

Oh how the century passed for him as he waited. How he dreamed of her face from years past, glowing with a bright smile for him. Their meeting to union with each other, albeit brief, impacted him greatly. He hoped when he would hear about her again that she moved on, became a hero, and...possibly had a family.

Unfortunately, such hopeful thinking wasn’t what happened.

So here he was now, reminiscing about the past. Though, he knew such time did not flow the same for her. A distant time for him was merely a year or so back for her. Honestly, he wasn’t quite sure how much time has passed since they last met. However, that did not matter as long as he saw her again. He was here on a mission, but a part of him didn’t mind to indulge looking at her intently. As she walked towards him when they first met, he couldn’t help but notice she grew out her innocent look and became a woman. He held his breath as he stared shamelessly, her beauty truly was unmatched and, he swore she was a goddess in mortal skin. His hand tightened around his staff, as he held his breath, and he was glad she couldn’t see him becoming flustered.

One of the advantages of wearing his hood.

He wasn’t all that surprised by her suspicious gaze, even if it tightened his chest horribly. Oh how he wanted to tell her, though he doubted she even remembered him. Who he was before, another face in her adventures she helped before she moved on to grander things. There wasn’t much to him after all.

Though it pained him to see the obvious change in her. The Au Ra in front of him could fool anyone by a glance of her indifferent and cold expression, but he knew better. He knew her before she became this way. How her eyes used to glow when he talked about his time as a scholar or the way her body moved happily when she explained a story of an adventure she had. 

She used to smile a lot.

Now, he could see she didn’t have time to smile so freely. The innocent adventurer was long gone, replaced with a woman that had seen too much. His thoughts went back to the memoir, how it painted her in such a heroic light. Untouchable and almost godly, in a way she didn’t appear to be mortal. Yet, in her presence, she was just simply herself. An adventurer that wanted to see the world, only to have that very world be shoved onto her shoulders instead. A burden no one could ever fathom to see themselves in. She stood tall and proud, but her eyes cried out of exhaustion.

His observation he felt was quite accurate to say the least. The Au Ra woman expressed actions more than words. She rarely spoke and mostly responded with brief nods and gestures. He watched her movements and she was reserved and closed off. Warm enough to get near, but too cold to touch. A part of him feared she was unreachable to reach. Yet...when he asked her if she had any questions about the Crystal Tower her answer made him freeze.

“...Was there someone in there by the name of--?” She spoke, more than he expected. Her gaze looked at his hooded face, her eyes were hopeful and her lips trembled. The Exarch felt like the tightening in his chest get worse, but in a different way. His stomach wanted to do knot up and the sound of his own name went static in his ears.

He wanted to tell her. Oh, how he wanted to shout to her the truth. Despite his...condition he just wanted to bring her small form into his arms and whisper sweet nothings forever. To take him with her to fight the Lightwardens when the time came. Or, if there was ever a sliver of a chance...he wanted be her companion and go on an adventure with her. Together.

His expression was cool on the outside, but he wanted to laugh and cry bitterly at this predicament. He needed to wake up, and accept the reality. There was a reason he was here and that was to save the Source, to save her.

He’d do anything for her.

Even if it meant to die with the truth forever in the shadows. Maybe in another life they could have had something blossom to something more. Sadly, that was wishful thinking and his own selfish thoughts.

The Exarch expressed a pondering gesture as the woman in front of him stood hopeful. Her hand holding the other against her chest. He swallowed up his feelings and pushed the yearning thoughts away. She doesn’t actually remember him, just his name he would tell himself. He wasn’t worth being remembered or mentioned in her story.

This was never about him.

“No, I don’t believe there was anyone else there.”


End file.
